Self esteem is a major key to success in life. The development of a positive self concept or healthy sense of self is extremely important to the happiness and success of our children and teenagers.

Self esteem is all about how we feel about ourselves and our behaviour clearly reflects those feelings. For example; a child with high self esteem will be able to act independently, assume responsibility, take pride in their accomplishments, tolerate frustration, attempt new tasks and challenges, handle positive and negative emotions and have resilience to bounce back from difficult situations.

On the other hand a child with low self esteem will avoid trying new things, feel unloved and unwanted, blame others for their own shortcomings, feel or pretend to feel emotionally indifferent, be unable to tolerate a normal level of frustration, not acknowledge his or her own talents and abilities and be easily influenced by others.

Parents can promote their child’s self esteem and often do without realizing that their words and actions have a great impact on how their child or teenager feels about himself or herself.

Here are a few other suggestions that may help:

•    When you feel good about your child, mention it to him or her
•    Be generous with praise – be descriptive about what you are proud of
•    Teach your child to practice making positive self statements
•    Avoid criticism that takes the form of ridicule or shame
•    Teach your child about decision making and recognize when he or she has made a good decision
•    Develop a positive approach to providing structure for your child.

Sharon Zancolich
College Counsellor